相信各位有開車的朋友,或多或少都有寫過一些紙條放在汽車前擋上的經驗,筆者猜想有大部份是因為臨停寫上自己的電話號碼吧。
不過,用車情況千百種,意料外的事就是會讓你跳腳或是猛掐著XX,尤其事情發生但卻找不到當事人溝通解決時候,"留字條"於是乎就是世界通用有效的方法了。
字條的內容有什麼,那就五花八門了。當然太普通的就不值一提,接著大家就來讀INCAR學髒話看紙條文化。
被偷苦主原文是
Dear Criminals
Please stop breaking into my car
There is nothing left. Also I understand taking the stereo & CDs,
but what are you going to do with my registration?
and what did you break my ocarina? I was a present, dick.
Try again and I’ll go Golden Freeman on your ass.
That’s right; I’m camping behind some crates right now, watching you read this.
Sincerely
Fxck you!
親愛的罪犯~
請不要再打破我的車窗了,車裏並沒有啥東西。
而且, 拔音響,拿CD,我都可以理解,但是你拿我的行照是要幹嘛?
還打破我的陶笛,你這個迪克(自己GOOGLE “DICK”),它是人家送我的禮物咧!
你再試一次看看,我就把老高(Golden Freeman戰慄時空(HALF LIFE)主角)塞進你屁屁
對,我正在某個箱子後面紮營看著你讀這些留言
誠摯的
法馬賽克 油
P.S ! 老高Golden Freeman是誰? 就他啦!
再下來的一種情況,大好假日被外面防盜器一直吵~你會如何???
左邊:
Hey jerk off
Your hair trigger car alarm has been going off every 5 minutes,
running everyone’s Saturday afternoon
I guaranteed you, no one want to steal this piece of shit.
Fix your alarm please and……..
右邊路人加碼:
Turn You Fxxking alarm off !!
左邊:
喂 混蛋(jerk off 請自行google)
你那個一觸即發的防盜器警鈴,每五分鐘就又停又響的
大家的周日下午美好時光都被你弄得……
我向你保證沒人會偷這你破銅爛鐡(這塊屎)啦
快修好你的防盜器啦…….
右邊:
快關掉你TMD的防盜器
接著的這個苦主,筆者則是相當的同情並表遺憾,因為她被條子纏上了……
原文是
Dear Officer,
I have temp plate because someone keeps stealing my…plate.
Not because I’m a drug dealer, but thanks for telling my little brother you suspect me of …..one. Also ,my factory tints are legal and all 7 tickets you’ve written me for them have been dismissed.
Please And another vehicle to harass.
P.S If I were a drug dealer, I could afford a garage
Thank you
Carrine
敬愛的長官
我掛上臨時牌是因為大牌一直被"鏘"走,並不是因為我是個毒販好嗎?我謝你TMD還跑去向我弟說我就是有嫌疑。另外,我車子顏色是合法的,你給我的七張罰單都是判無效的~
拜託您把目標放在其它車吧!
P.S 如果我是藥頭,車位我還買不起嗎?
謝謝
Carrine
這張紙是貼在後檔的,字很大, 學開手排ING~讚啦
Hey, I’m learning how to drive manual.
Please don’t honk at me!
I’m fully aware that the car is not moving.
I’m working on it.
嘿 喂 按尼啦
老子(娘)在學開手排,所以不要叭叭我啦!
我當然知道現車子沒在動,
我在想辦法讓它動啦!
以上的英文翻譯也許並未達到完全正確,有錯誤還懇請各位讀者包涵指正!!