您在這裡

擋風玻璃前的那張留言,你有寫過收過嗎?

相信各位有開車的朋友,或多或少都有寫過一些紙條放在汽車前擋上的經驗,筆者猜想有大部份是因為臨停寫上自己的電話號碼吧。

不過,用車情況千百種,意料外的事就是會讓你跳腳或是猛掐著XX,尤其事情發生但卻找不到當事人溝通解決時候,"留字條"於是乎就是世界通用有效的方法了。

字條的內容有什麼,那就五花八門了。當然太普通的就不值一提,接著大家就來讀INCAR學髒話看紙條文化。

 

被偷苦主原文是

Dear Criminals

Please stop breaking into my car

There is nothing left. Also I understand taking the stereo & CDs,

but what are you going to do with my registration?

and what did you break my ocarina? I was a present, dick.

Try again and I’ll go Golden Freeman on your ass.

That’s right; I’m camping behind some crates right now, watching you read this.

Sincerely

Fxck you!

親愛的罪犯~

請不要再打破我的車窗了,車裏並沒有啥東西。

而且, 拔音響,拿CD,我都可以理解,但是你拿我的行照是要幹嘛?

還打破我的陶笛,你這個迪克(自己GOOGLE “DICK”),它是人家送我的禮物咧!

你再試一次看看,我就把老高(Golden Freeman戰慄時空(HALF LIFE)主角)塞進你屁屁

對,我正在某個箱子後面紮營看著你讀這些留言

誠摯的

法馬賽克 油

P.S ! 老高Golden Freeman是誰? 就他啦!  

 

再下來的一種情況,大好假日被外面防盜器一直吵~你會如何???

左邊:

Hey jerk off

Your hair trigger car alarm has been going off every 5 minutes,

running everyone’s Saturday afternoon

I guaranteed you, no one want to steal this piece of shit.

Fix your alarm please and……..

右邊路人加碼:

Turn You Fxxking alarm off !!

左邊:

喂 混蛋(jerk off 請自行google)

你那個一觸即發的防盜器警鈴,每五分鐘就又停又響的

大家的周日下午美好時光都被你弄得……

我向你保證沒人會偷這你破銅爛鐡(這塊屎)啦

快修好你的防盜器啦…….

右邊: 

快關掉你TMD的防盜器

 

接著的這個苦主,筆者則是相當的同情並表遺憾,因為她被條子纏上了......

原文是

Dear Officer,

I have temp plate because someone keeps stealing my…plate.

Not because I’m a drug dealer, but thanks for telling my little brother you suspect me of …..one. Also ,my factory tints are legal and all 7 tickets you’ve written me for them have been dismissed.

Please And another vehicle to harass.

P.S      If I were a drug dealer, I could afford a garage

Thank you

Carrine

敬愛的長官

我掛上臨時牌是因為大牌一直被"鏘"走,並不是因為我是個毒販好嗎?我謝你TMD還跑去向我弟說我就是有嫌疑。另外,我車子顏色是合法的,你給我的七張罰單都是判無效的~

拜託您把目標放在其它車吧!

P.S  如果我是藥頭,車位我還買不起嗎?

謝謝

Carrine

 

這張紙是貼在後檔的,字很大, 學開手排ING~讚啦

Hey, I’m learning how to drive manual.

Please don’t honk at me!

I’m fully aware that the car is not moving.

I’m working on it.

嘿 喂 按尼啦

老子(娘)在學開手排,所以不要叭叭我啦!

我當然知道現車子沒在動,

我在想辦法讓它動啦!

 

以上的英文翻譯也許並未達到完全正確,有錯誤還懇請各位讀者包涵指正!!

 

 

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